You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
