a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
