Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize