I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
