CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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