Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize