I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
