What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
