Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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