whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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