I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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