I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
