it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize