Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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