So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You made out with two different species that night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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