I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
