I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
