OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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