I've blown a few things in my day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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