Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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