We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
