im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
