Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
