The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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