I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize