forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you are never too drunk for berry picking
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
