May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
