at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
