Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
