why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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