We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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