google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
