when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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