Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
