look no pants
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
