You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
