You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
