I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
