found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize