Just fell off a train. Bad.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
