Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
