sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
