Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
