I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
