jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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