Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
