Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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