Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
