I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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