; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
