Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize