someone threw a dead crab at me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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