I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
