Where did you get a picture of my penis
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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