Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need to stop coming to work sober
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
