Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
