how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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