break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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