did you get engaged???
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize