the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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