Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
