Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My vagina just recognized that song.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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