Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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