I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
