I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
