He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize